with race, if you’re not white you’re breaking out of the ideal and you’ll have to work hard to prove you’re still ‘normal’ (e.g. by making sure you tick all the other nuclear family boxes). however no one would ever think of saying ‘yes, they’re nice and everything, but they’re black/brown/purple’ (except behind closed doors) because of the taboos you describe. this racism is not vocalised.

however if you’re promiscuous (and female, obviously - if you’re male promiscuity is positively encouraged) and hence again breaking this ideal (’how will you ever start a family if you keep sleeping with different men?’ ) then people can say whatever they want (maybe because promiscuity is to a certain extent chosen behaviour? ’she’s breaking the nuclear family - on purpose!’), out come the cries of ‘ho’ and ’slut’. finally the insanity does work in a different way for men - it is the male’s duty to be an absolute stud until he marries and then forever be faithful.